It’s sunny outside. I should be there.

Not a lot to link to, as most of my stuff of late seems to have been exclusively print or on RPS.

However, here’s my review of The Club for PC Gamer, which I expected some web-hate for but don’t seem to have gotten as yet. A pessimist is never disappointed, but he can unsettled by anti-climax.

Also, previews of an expansion for the Warhammer RTS, Project Origin and Dawn of War Soulstorm.

Anyway, today is my birthday, an event I’m failing to summon up any sort of significant feeling towards, so I shall attempt to rectify that by briefly and vaguely chattering here. Upon hearing that I’ve just turned 29, various friends, relations and those few people whose tedium has yet to reach the level where I’m actively ignoring them, proffer the expected “ooh, nearly 30 eh?”, and make intimations about death and frailty and retiring to a house in the country. Well, okay. I’ve been feeling like I’m about 40 since I was about 20, so the physical and mental repercussions of late youth barely trouble me.

The only thing that does is sense of/ lack of achievement. I’m surrounded, for the most part, by writers of one sort of another, many of whom are penning books or comics or journalism outside of games and technology, or leaving for well-paid jobs in the city, or simply earning a fortune by being more organised and committed than I. Me, I’m still in rented accommodation, fudging self-employment, earning a reasonable keep from reviews and features for the largely the same magazines I wrote for when I was in full-time employment, and still unable to own a cat (which is possibly all I actually want from life). I’m still waiting for the great leap forwards. Notably, I’m not actually doing any leaping myself, so I know full well where the blame lies.

That said, I can look at where I am on my 29th birthday against where I was on my 28th, and feel slightly better about things. RPS seems enormously respected, even if it’s earned basically zero, so my standing in the industry is presumably improved somewhat. Forced to write more regularly on a more analytical level than straight reviews, I also have a vague sense of being a little bit smarter about videogames; I hope that’s ongoing.

I’m still offered work regularly, whereas last February my plan was, should this new life not be working out come September, to knock freelance on the head and go back to university or chop down trees for a living or something. Perhaps more importantly, I’m now past the 18 months of mild insanity that saw me inexplicably collecting plastic robots. Though I dread whatever minor, worthless obsession will next consume me.

Published in: on Tuesday February 26, 2008 at 1:46 pm  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. My link! It is fixed! I am… unstoppable!

    I’ve now played Soulstorm for around twenty-four hours. I’m not sure I felt the kinkiness, but I do have a screenshot of a hovercraft full of whores obliterating a church, and that’s kind of awesome.

  2. ‘The only thing that does is sense of/ lack of achievement.’

    No way man. You’re doing great stuff. Enjoy your birthday

  3. At least you’re not wearing pilot’s helmets.

    Or are you?

    (On a more serious note, I for one really enjoy the analytical and more brainy pieces on RPS, and honestly, I think you’re doing some great stuff on there in regards to broadening your spectrum of games writing, if that makes sense. Well, at the very least speaking as someone who is trying to get into games journalism, you certainly don’t come across as some sort of writer whom just does the straight reviews, as it were.)

  4. Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

    cheers, Undertrick!!

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